What you think and feel for yourself?The author of the book of Six Pillars of Self-Esteem emphasis Living Consciously, Acceptance and Self-Assertiveness
How much you perform well in your life? How much you capable of making money? How good relationships can you make? Hence in fact every aspect of life, how capable are you to become successful? All of the above statement simply depends on your Self-Esteem, I mean; all depends on your Confidence and beliefs. It is most important that what you think and feel for yourself.
The author of the book of Six Pillars of Self-Esteem emphasis that from the Depression, Under Achievement to big things like Violence or Suicide, all of these directly or indirectly connected with the Self-Esteem of the person, that’s why we must have to consider on this great topic about Self-Esteem.
For example, before flying off the plane, when air-hostess give life-saving instruction for safety and security to passengers, then she says that when there would be an emergency, firstly be wear your oxygen mask then you can help others because if there would be something wrong in traveling then we have hardly three seconds only for wearing oxygen marks. It doesn’t matter how strong you are! In other words, even any hero or macho man had better protect their physics or life then he or she capable to help others otherwise not only he or she has no chance to help others but he or she lost own life by the way. And this instruction will also be true whenever there will be a small child in front of you. In this circumstance, wisdom is the same as firstly wear our mask then help others. To understand this statement consciously that without helping ourselves, we cannot help others. Now, this may relate this example to our topic that without feeling good for ourselves and only low confidence then we cannot be achieve something big in our life.
Do You Know? When any person never trusts himself then people in the world feel fear to trust on him. So always maintain your Self-Esteem high. And now I’m sharing with you three best pillars according to me out of the book of Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, authored by Nathaniel Branden, if you want to learn the whole of the concept in detail then Read this Great Book by Clicking this Link.
So what is the reason behind the above scene? Most of our time, we spend Unconsciously instead of Conscious in Normal days. I mean, we usually not in the present moments but staying to think other things in our mind. As simply said, Our time would be passed away without connecting present moments.
Another example of unconscious life is that sometimes we reach the wrong route while driving because we aren’t in the present, kept thinking something else that might be all of the other problems in our life whether happened in the past or would happen in the future.
Another final example is that some people start living like a robot, never live in the present moment, you can simply relate to yourself that when you are at the office may be a thing of the home or when at home, thinking about the office work. If this happens with you then although you spend time with your family but it may be not a quality time. For these reasons, both personal and professional life will be affected.
Due to this common man problem, which is not living consciously (i.e. Eat, Work and Sleep & then again Eat, Work and Sleep) and live life like a robot, most of them may lose confidence and Experience Less Self-Esteem. Other people who live consciously, and do new things anytime, Stay Living in the present moments, are Experience High Level of Self Esteem and they are Self-Confidence. They can easily make good relationships and able to balance life between personal and professional except said that they live their life at full potential. So your first practice in your life should be to LIVE LIFE CONSCIOUSLY AND SPEND TIME IN MOMENTS.
I didn’t accept such bad things, even though, all of the people said that It’s normal and after some time it will vanish naturally but I deny such fact, eat different things or used stupid cream on that, and so much. But all things were useless, and then due to denial and never acceptance of this natural problem, my Confidence and Self-Esteem became low. In those circumstances, I became an awkward, introvert, and under-confidence type of person. And I lose many opportunities in my life as well. That’s why I’m sharing my story with you because you will not do such mistakes, and supposed to be accepting yourself as you naturally are! Be assured that the CONFIDENCE of a person is the most attractive thing in this world instead of Height, Weight, and Colors.
Now, it should be essential for you to know-how this important thing that there is 2 types of situation in life 1_YOU CAN CHANGE THINGS BY TAKING ACTION; 2_YOU CANNOT CHANGE THING BY DOING ANYTHING: Except of the above situation, something will be not acceptable anytime
Example of Type 1: If you are over-weight then you can act on it to work-out and solve the problem. In this situation, you shouldn’t say that I don’t care how am I? But instead of this, it is important to take action and change you.
Example of Type 2: But there is a situation, where your height is genetically short, and it isn’t in your control to change yourself then use wisdom and accept it because you can’t do anything about it, Here you should accept the fact and move on. In this situation, make yourself motivated by shouting to the world that there are only two things to make human-being, a big one or small, i.e. THINKING and ACTIONS.
Another simple example is that Passive types of people, usually never dare to say “No” to anyone, in other contexts, if they are in a hurry or late for some work, nevertheless say no for any work given by others. And If they are served burn food in a restaurant then they never complain about it even hesitate to talk about this. In short, passive people always do things that others want; on the other hand, aggressive people just do what they want!! Aggressive people say “NO” without listening reason of others and if they aren’t served well in a restaurant then they shouted-up to waiter.
So here is the important question arises that whether we should be PASSIVE TYPE OR AGGRESSIVE TYPE, while you shouldn’t be both of these types, because if you are passive, everyone takes advantage of you and not be able to do what you want.
But when you are aggressive than people finding you very rude and never liked by everyone. So, the best type of yours is to be ASSERTIVE.
For example, an assertive type of people is to say “No” in a Polite Way, taking the above case, if someone is in a type of assertive nature and he served to burn food by any restaurant then he instead of eating silently or shouting to a waiter. He will request a waiter for changing the foods like a gentleman, and if he has good communication skills, so then he’ll win the debate and assertively change that order. An assertive person does what he wants, but without being rude. So the question answers that you should be such a type of assertive person for increasing your Self Esteem and Confidence. This leads you to an intelligent person who takes action for his rights.
The author of the book of Six Pillars of Self-Esteem emphasis that from the Depression, Under Achievement to big things like Violence or Suicide, all of these directly or indirectly connected with the Self-Esteem of the person, that’s why we must have to consider on this great topic about Self-Esteem.
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| Three out of Six Pillars of Self-Esteem By Nathaniel Branden |
For example, before flying off the plane, when air-hostess give life-saving instruction for safety and security to passengers, then she says that when there would be an emergency, firstly be wear your oxygen mask then you can help others because if there would be something wrong in traveling then we have hardly three seconds only for wearing oxygen marks. It doesn’t matter how strong you are! In other words, even any hero or macho man had better protect their physics or life then he or she capable to help others otherwise not only he or she has no chance to help others but he or she lost own life by the way. And this instruction will also be true whenever there will be a small child in front of you. In this circumstance, wisdom is the same as firstly wear our mask then help others. To understand this statement consciously that without helping ourselves, we cannot help others. Now, this may relate this example to our topic that without feeling good for ourselves and only low confidence then we cannot be achieve something big in our life.
Do You Know? When any person never trusts himself then people in the world feel fear to trust on him. So always maintain your Self-Esteem high. And now I’m sharing with you three best pillars according to me out of the book of Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, authored by Nathaniel Branden, if you want to learn the whole of the concept in detail then Read this Great Book by Clicking this Link.
1-LIVING CONSCIOUSLY:
Do you ever notice? those Normal days of Working or Normal days at Home? come and go very fast, when one Sunday comes, then another Sunday, and then another one. But if you are out of town for two or three days then you could observe that maybe those days are long enough, you may feel that you did a lot of things, go to many places, and did different things at that time.So what is the reason behind the above scene? Most of our time, we spend Unconsciously instead of Conscious in Normal days. I mean, we usually not in the present moments but staying to think other things in our mind. As simply said, Our time would be passed away without connecting present moments.
Another example of unconscious life is that sometimes we reach the wrong route while driving because we aren’t in the present, kept thinking something else that might be all of the other problems in our life whether happened in the past or would happen in the future.
Another final example is that some people start living like a robot, never live in the present moment, you can simply relate to yourself that when you are at the office may be a thing of the home or when at home, thinking about the office work. If this happens with you then although you spend time with your family but it may be not a quality time. For these reasons, both personal and professional life will be affected.
Due to this common man problem, which is not living consciously (i.e. Eat, Work and Sleep & then again Eat, Work and Sleep) and live life like a robot, most of them may lose confidence and Experience Less Self-Esteem. Other people who live consciously, and do new things anytime, Stay Living in the present moments, are Experience High Level of Self Esteem and they are Self-Confidence. They can easily make good relationships and able to balance life between personal and professional except said that they live their life at full potential. So your first practice in your life should be to LIVE LIFE CONSCIOUSLY AND SPEND TIME IN MOMENTS.
2- SELF ACCEPTANCE:
In this pillar, I am sharing with you my example is, I remember that when I was a teenager, there were so many pimples on my face, such a so bad feeling for me, in the face due to that terrible reason, I didn’t like to talk face to face with everyone. I didn’t want anyone to see my face like that.I didn’t accept such bad things, even though, all of the people said that It’s normal and after some time it will vanish naturally but I deny such fact, eat different things or used stupid cream on that, and so much. But all things were useless, and then due to denial and never acceptance of this natural problem, my Confidence and Self-Esteem became low. In those circumstances, I became an awkward, introvert, and under-confidence type of person. And I lose many opportunities in my life as well. That’s why I’m sharing my story with you because you will not do such mistakes, and supposed to be accepting yourself as you naturally are! Be assured that the CONFIDENCE of a person is the most attractive thing in this world instead of Height, Weight, and Colors.
Now, it should be essential for you to know-how this important thing that there is 2 types of situation in life 1_YOU CAN CHANGE THINGS BY TAKING ACTION; 2_YOU CANNOT CHANGE THING BY DOING ANYTHING: Except of the above situation, something will be not acceptable anytime
Example of Type 1: If you are over-weight then you can act on it to work-out and solve the problem. In this situation, you shouldn’t say that I don’t care how am I? But instead of this, it is important to take action and change you.
Example of Type 2: But there is a situation, where your height is genetically short, and it isn’t in your control to change yourself then use wisdom and accept it because you can’t do anything about it, Here you should accept the fact and move on. In this situation, make yourself motivated by shouting to the world that there are only two things to make human-being, a big one or small, i.e. THINKING and ACTIONS.
3- SELF ASSERTIVENESS:
In this world, there is a maximum of two types of people, one is a PASSIVE TYPE, and the other is an AGGRESSIVE TYPE. For instance, explaining types of people in a casual way, where one person called A, for a long time staying in a queue for buying a ticket at counter, and another person breaks the queue in front of him then in this situation if the person held in the type of Passive Type then he won’t say anything but only feel angry in himself. But on the contrary, if he will be an Aggressive Type, then he takes some hard action, maybe shouting or abusing that person, and never let him to break the line by anyway.Another simple example is that Passive types of people, usually never dare to say “No” to anyone, in other contexts, if they are in a hurry or late for some work, nevertheless say no for any work given by others. And If they are served burn food in a restaurant then they never complain about it even hesitate to talk about this. In short, passive people always do things that others want; on the other hand, aggressive people just do what they want!! Aggressive people say “NO” without listening reason of others and if they aren’t served well in a restaurant then they shouted-up to waiter.
So here is the important question arises that whether we should be PASSIVE TYPE OR AGGRESSIVE TYPE, while you shouldn’t be both of these types, because if you are passive, everyone takes advantage of you and not be able to do what you want.
But when you are aggressive than people finding you very rude and never liked by everyone. So, the best type of yours is to be ASSERTIVE.
For example, an assertive type of people is to say “No” in a Polite Way, taking the above case, if someone is in a type of assertive nature and he served to burn food by any restaurant then he instead of eating silently or shouting to a waiter. He will request a waiter for changing the foods like a gentleman, and if he has good communication skills, so then he’ll win the debate and assertively change that order. An assertive person does what he wants, but without being rude. So the question answers that you should be such a type of assertive person for increasing your Self Esteem and Confidence. This leads you to an intelligent person who takes action for his rights.
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